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I am a mess, a weeping mess overwhelmed with the pain of this world. I scroll through the feeds & come across a beautiful video full of truth. The actor lays out his heart, his whole heart for the world to see. And I pray that he will know that Jesus is real. I read the news that a performer has died, his songs digging up memories from a time I like to keep buried. Tears form with fond memories too; his voice & my own little song that I wrote based off one of his.

A text comes through asking for prayer for a young one. One I only know through a story of all that has happened to her. Her story gets darker & my heart breaks wide open. I cannot contain the weeping. I'm out in my backyard office. What if the neighbors hear me? (It wouldn't be the first time.) What if the painter in my house sees? I weep & in my heart I beg Jesus to help me. My mind goes back to the paintings of Jesus I just saw in the video. His eyes heal. "Jesus, please come heal. Heal the actor's heart, the little one's body & soul, all the ones that broke my heart open in Chicago hiding behind their cardboard signs attempting to explain their lives. Heal my friends & their babies. Heal it all, all the pain that is overwhelming my heart. Please take it away. I don't want to cry anymore."

And all this, it's a drop in the bucket! My brain cannot even go to all the rest of the world. All I can cry is Jesus. My office doesn't have a tissue box, only the vintage table cloth, so I must venture into my house. Can I get by the painter without him seeing my snotty face?

And then Jesus comes softly. I notice the trashes need emptying, so I empty them. The pans from Monday's dinner still need to be cleaned. Baked-on butter & olive oil must be scoured from my glass baking pans. So I scour, and I hear Him whisper, "This you can fix. Keep scrubbing, they will come clean. You know I've already told you that in this world there will be trouble. Take heart, dear one, I HAVE OVERCOME the world. I know part of your heartache is that you know I could have stopped it all & that I can fix it all. You know I'm working through it all too. You do what's in front of you. Keep talking to me. Keep writing. Keep scrubbing. Keep knitting & crocheting. Keep trusting me. I love you & I love them. And never stop weeping for them."

So I write it all out & ponder if I am to share this. Fern, my tattered & torn squirrel sits at the feeder. I can feed her, so I do. And I exhale. I exhale knowing that God doesn't have to explain anything to me. Yet, He meets me every time, each day. He invites me into the pain so I pray. And maybe, somehow, it comforts somebody to know that I am weeping with them. And He gives me things I can do when I feel so very helpless. He meets me – comes to me – every single day. I am grateful.

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I didn’t even know that Katharina Luther existed.  I will admit that I am extremely ignorant of a lot.  I truly can end that sentence right there! However, I’m speaking of the subject of history specifically.  I used to be horrifically ashamed of my lack of knowledge.  It wasn’t because I wasn’t taught it, I just cannot remember tidbits that seem to be on the tip of the general population’s brains.  I live in a home with a man and our oldest daughter who LOVE history and can remember countless facts and have fabulous discussions.  I listen, ask questions, and still feel ill-equipped.  I’m truly not writing this for any other reason that to set the background for how much I do not gravitate towards historical writings that are not fiction.  I know it is just not my thing, and I’m fine with it and not ashamed at all anymore.  This is because I have learned throughout all the years of my teaching that I know how to find information when I need it, and I know how to teach people to find that information. And I am really okay with that.  I have also learned that Father God will bring me to people and information when He wants me to take notice. Late last year, I saw a FB post about applying for a launch team for Michelle DeRusha’s book on the marriage of Martin Luther to Katharina.  I quickly realized that I did not even know that Martin Luther was married.  Kris Camealy was so excited about this author and this book, and I felt the Holy One just kind of nudge me to apply.  I thought this would be good for me to step out of my comfort zone and embrace this historical work and learn more about this Martin Luther character and his wife.  I was thrilled when I received the email telling me I had been chosen for the launch team.  I had no idea all that God would teach me through this author and her words.

To begin with, I was hooked on her writing immediately.  It truly reads more like a story than biography, and I felt an immediate connection to both Katharina and Martin Luther in a way I did not expect.  I wanted to learn more about them and from them.

This experience also took a rather personal turn for me that I did not expect and the timing in our current social environment could not have been more perfect.  From the time I was very young, God has gifted me with the desire to question Him about things that didn’t seem to match His character.  I say that He gave me this gift, because  when I started this questioning of Him, I was not old enough to even truly understand His character and how the events taking place around me didn’t match.  I was in a home where I was taken to church and taught from the Bible and told how much Jesus loved me, but let’s just say that women were not truly cherished the way that Jesus cherishes us.  I remember God telling me in my little heart to hang on to Jesus, and He would teach me the truth.  And you know, in the years to come, every verse that had been used to push women down, God taught me what He truly meant.  He often would use teachers and different Bible studies.  But the one He used the most was my husband.  He brought an 18-year-old man into my life when I was 22 years old and showed me how much Jesus loved women and equipped women.  We are made in His image too.  Therein lies my worth.  Nothing else mattered.  I didn’t have to prove one thing or be one thing.  I just had to look to Jesus and I saw His truth clearly.  I believe with my whole heart after reading Michelle’s words and getting to know both Martin and Katharina, they both knew the truth of who they were very clearly as well.  During a time in our history when a woman’s survival literally depended on men, Katharina took a stand and refused to marry somebody she did not like, a person she knew was not right for her.  I believe with my whole heart she trusted God in that stand and in many others that she took.  Her and Martin’s relationship may not have started romantically, but I get the sense that they knew God was working and building something far bigger than themselves at the time.

Reading their story was a beautiful confirmation of all that Father God has been teaching me since I was a very young girl.  I cannot encourage you enough to get a copy of this treasure for your personal library.  Encourage your young people to read it and get to know this couple who took incredible risks to follow God at His Word.  And learn to sink into His truth and know He will fight for us.  He has never stopped fighting for my me and my heart.  He keeps pouring His love over me even through a history book.  So, thank you, Michelle, for doing this work.

I would also love to give one of you a copy of this book.  Please leave me a comment here or on my FB or IG account, and I will choose a winner tomorrow morning and send the book directly to you.

 

I just needed this today, & I LOVE that He knew that ahead of time and directed me to His word and truth.  Thank You, Abba.

Psalm 63:7-8

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

I have learned to love change throughout my life.  It brings adventure, sometimes excitement, definitely growth.  I can embrace the changes of this life because my God, my Abba, never changes!  He is my constant!

“But you remain the same, and your years will never end.”  Psalm 102:27

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

“It is done.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.” Revelation 21:6

Thank You, Holy One, for Your constant presence, truths, and unending love!

James 1:22

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.

I’ve been memorizing James.  I’m currently up to the 14th verse of chapter 2.  It’s been an amazing project, one I could only do with God’s help.  He is answering my prayer to be able to do this.  I say the verses I have memorized every day, so I hear them a lot.  My kids & husband are also memorizing them, so I hear the verses from them as well.  And this verse jumps out at me every time.  It doesn’t matter how much I memorize or hear it, I must do what His word says.  I must live His truth.  Just as He is the One who has given me the ability to memorize these words, He is also the One who will give me the ability to do His words, to live His words.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Thank You, Abba!

Psalm 46:10a

Be still and know that I am God;…

Today I needed this truth.  Perhaps somebody else needs this simple, precious truth.

Thank You, Father God.

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