You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category.

I’m speaking to the women here.

Do you know how beautiful you are?  God most high, in all His majesty, gave you HIS BEAUTY!  Think of the most beautiful work of His creation that you have seen.  YOU top that.  He saved the best portion of His beauty for us – His Princesses – His baby girls.

Beauty is something we all seek even if we don’t want to admit it or we try to deny it.  It drives so much in our world.  Why?  Because God made us to be beautiful – His beauty.  Of course, our world has twisted and turned this precious truth and tried to define it for us.  But when we seek His true definition, a more beautiful world than you can even imagine will open up to you.  Ask Father God to reveal your beauty when you pass that mirror, and ask Him to reveal His beauty in others.  He will show you…get ready!

John 14: 13-14

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. (NIV)

The first week of January, time to undecorate the house and turn the Christmas lights off. I know I need to even though Christmas is still very much here in my heart. I wouldn’t say I’m sad, it’s just time to move on to the next part of the year on the calendar. It’s been a good week, a bit of an adjustment for the kids going back to school and getting up early again, but good. This morning I look out my window to a most beautiful snowfall. It’s thick and lush, I know because I don’t have my contacts in yet and I can see it. 🙂 I just had to get out there in it. I threw on my sweater, scarf, and boots and took out the compost (yes, I have a compost hole in my backyard…I’m making dirt for the spring planting…very satisfying). I just stood out in the back in my jammies letting His snow kisses fall on my face. As each one settled on my face, I remembered how many times I have continually kissed my babies’/toddlers’/kids’ faces over and over as long as they would sit still and let me. And there I was; sitting still and letting the King of Kings, God Almighty, shower me with His kisses. My heart is encouraged and ready for this new day and new season. Happy New Year!

I felt compelled to write about Winter and barren trees earlier today.  God’s presence was so thick as I walked through the neighborhood, and I realized why I love winter.  It’s not here yet, but it will soon be.  Only a few trees were completely barren, so I shared why that was special in my last post.  Then He gave me another picture of the beauty in the barren.   When I became barren in 2001, I asked God to show me His glory in the loss of life.  I knew the babies were ultimately His, and He assured me that He chose to create and that those children had eternal purpose, and I would meet them and worship Him with them some day for eternity.  What sweet peace He poured over me in my grief.  Then, just 11 short months later, He brought new life to our lives.  We found out Grace Trinity Arin Joy was on her way.  She was in my arms September 3, 2002.  Ethan Garrett Lewis followed 19 months later on February 24, 2004.  They are two of my most incredible miracles that I waited for.  He taught me throughout their adoptions to be still and KNOW that He is God.  They were worth the wait.  He also reminded me of the wait I had during Riley’s pregnancy, the only child of my womb that I have met thus far…another incredible miracle.  Being pregnant was one of the sweetest times in my life.  The expectancy was exhilarating, each change welcomed and full of life.  I enjoyed it and looked forward to seeing His new life in my daughter.  Today, I felt that same expectancy.  It may not be a wee one that I am looking forward to, or it may be another child some day.  But I am assured that it’s life of some sort, and I am asking for eyes to see and ears to hear.  I was almost home, and another small barren tree caught my eye.  And in it was life already; the sweetest little birds resting in its branches.  I often hear the beautiful songs of the birds on my walks, but cannot see them to due to the density of the trees’ leaves.  But today, in the barren branches, I saw life!

Walking home this morning I felt Your breath encompass me.  I looked up and saw a dark cloudy sky covering the brilliance of Your sun.  Some of the trees are already dark and barren, a black silhouette against the grey sky.  I saw another form of Your beauty in those barren tree limbs.  For in them awaits the hope and beauty of new life.  You reminded me of Your closeness in the most barren times of my life.  The babies You created in me were with You and I was completely barren.  I still feel the closeness of You during those days, it was sweet and solid, a promise of life to come.  Like the trees today, it will be months before that life is revealed.  The trees wait patiently, standing strong through their winter, they wait for new life.  And I will wait…expectantly waiting for my miracle, the miracles You have intended for me at the times appointed.

Had an interesting experience this morning as I was driving.  It’s one of the only times that I purposely put music on in my life.  I love it, I just don’t think about turning it on.  One of my very favorite cd’s is Big Daddy Weave…don’t even remember the name of the cd; it’s fortunate that I could retrieve their name.  🙂  One of the lyrics in one of the songs states that “My spirit feels the change as my heart cries holy.”  The truth of that flooded over  me as I was worshiping our God through that song.  All my concerns and fears just go as I focus on the Holiness of our Lord.  It would be nice if that one time of living out that song covered all of my life, but I know that I must continue to cry “Holy” to Him and seek His glory each day…several times each day.  I need to experience the change daily! 

I’ll attempt to get the name of the song and cd and maybe even the lyrics when I can get my hands on the cd case.  🙂

Parker and I were shopping the other day for Easter gifts for the kids and I mentioned something specific that the kids had wanted.  I told Parker that I would do just about anything to give those precious three whatever they wanted.  It wasn’t anything that would “spoil” them, just a certain treat that they loved.  It was as if God whispered to my heart as I said it, “I feel the same way about you!”.  I am moved to tears at this moment remembering all the things He has given me; huge blessings like Parker and my kids and friends and family, shelter, provisions continually.  Then there are the many, many small things that He knows will make my heart smile and cause me to pause and thank Him; beautiful birds, sweet breezes, gorgeous sunsets, fun animals, breathtaking scenery, the sweet toes of children…I could go on and on.  Just recently, yesterday as a matter of fact, He revealed another precious gift to me.  We have to move again in the very near future.  When we found out we would be moving some weeks back, in my heart of hearts I had a few hopes.  I may have voiced a couple of them to my husband, but one I did not.  I wanted a birch tree.  It didn’t necessarily have to be in my yard, just one I could see from a window in our home.  In our old house (Flat Rock), there were two beautiful birch trees that I loved.  They were simple comfort and beauty to me.  I have missed those trees deep down, I know it’s weird, and for those who know me best, no other explanation is needed.  This past Sunday, we found the house we will be moving into in less than a month.  There are beautiful mature trees, it’s in the neighborhood that Parker and I have always loved.  There are details in the house that are exactly what we had hoped for.  Even the timing of when we get to move in is what I had hoped for…I get to plant flowers!!!  There are even flower boxes on the house.  I did look for my birch tree in our front yard and the neighbors’…not there.  I wasn’t even disappointed, just thankful that God has shown us our next “home” for the time being.  Then yesterday, Parker asked if I saw my birch tree!  I don’t know how I missed it.  It’s right outside the very large windows of the family room in our backyard!!!!  It’s beautiful.  I drove down the street this morning, and there it was, so beautiful.  He didn’t have to do that.  But He wanted to because He knew it would make His princess smile, and that I would pause and thank Him.  Wasn’t going to the cross and conquering the grave enough?  His love knows no end.  

So, thank you Abba, I love my tree!!!  …and my windows and floors and flower boxes and even the colors and the location….hee

As stated in an earlier post, I am reading The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge.  I highly recommend it!  God, The Most High, in his wildness and holiness pursues me with a love that is unquenchable!  I cannot put into words what this does to my heart with its woundings and bruises and fears and insecurities.  It would take too many words to explain, at least in this setting…perhaps another day in another format.  But as I read a portion of chapter 6, The Almighty challenges my heart for He knows how I like to protect this heart…albeit damaged to certain degrees, as we all are.  It’s all I have and I so often take on the duty of keeping it safe or what I perceive to be safe.   In the earlier part of chapter 6, the author speaks of God creating the angels and the rebellion that takes place as a result of the freedom He graciously gave them.  Herein lies the challenge to me: 

The wildness of giving us freedom is even more staggering when we remember that God has already paid dearly for giving freedom to the angels.  But because of his grand heart he goes ahead and takes the risk, an enormous, colossal risk.  The reason he didn’t make puppets is because he wanted lovers. pg 78

Who am I to hold back any amount of  love or vulnerability from anyone, particularly those who have hurt my heart?  If God almighty is willing to love us/me at any cost, I must die to my self (my desire to protect my heart), and love openly, even at the cost of more hurt or the reopening of old wounds.  I can trust Him, the ultimate lover of me and my heart, with any further hurt that may come … and will come. 

I love you, Jesus, and I trust YOU!  Take my heart and make it wholly Yours to love those who need You; those that You love and gave Your life for.

Fat Tuesday is here which means Lent begins tomorrow.  I grew up protestant, still am, and didn’t even know what Lent was until I was an adult.  A few years ago, I began practicing Lent as a means to give up sugar or treats to help me get my sugar addiction under control.  I still didn’t really use it to help prepare me for the Easter season.  It was a means to an end; to feel better physically as well as shed some of the holiday weight that I would pack on.  Once Easter arrived, I started all over feeding my sugar addiction knowing in the back of my mind, I could just give it up again come next Lent.  This year, I plan to give up sweets again, but my focus is a bit different.  I felt God prompt me to dig a bit deeper in this, to focus more on Christ and the sacrifice He gave for me.  He sacrificed His life and blood for me so that I could have eternal life with Him.  But that’s not where it ends.  Not only am I granted eternal salvation, but He came so that I may have life to the fullest here on Earth.  He didn’t die for me so that I would continue in bondage in my earthly life, but that I would know His freedom both here and in Heaven.  So, this year, we will approach this a bit differently.  My focus will be to dwell in Him and how He satisfies my soul and my physical being.  I do not need a substance, I need only Him.  My husband and kids are also giving up sweets (not natural sugars) for Lent.  It is my hope to lead them to a deeper relationship with Christ and the freedom they have in Him.  So, happy Lent and a blessed Easter!

I spent this morning with my three kids at a baptism class at church.  I am still awed at the extravagance of the gift Jesus gave us.  I’ve been in church since I was 6…wow, 34 years…I’ve heard the salvation message and why we get baptized so many times and yet, it continually moves me.  Who am I that He is mindful of me?  His giving knows no bounds, His love is perfect and unending.  And He does it for me, because I’m His.  I was created for Him to love me, and in turn I love HIM with all my heart, soul, and mind. 

God, help me love You more and desire to know You more in this coming year.  Thank you for another year to do Your work here and to anticipate our Heavenly home. 

I’m excited to see where God will take us this year.  If you have come across this or purposely sought out my blog, know how much He loves you as well and recognize the blessings He is constantly pouring over you.  Do you know that He is singing over you?(Zephaniah 3:17)  Listen carefully and you will hear…

I’ve noticed something about discouragement.  It doesn’t normally just hit you like a brick wall.  Instead it gradually creeps over you and binds you in a place that you don’t want to be, but you don’t know how to leave.  It’s heavy and grey and icky.  The words of Jesus keep resonating in my mind…”In this world there will be trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”  I cannot remember chapter and verse or even book for that matter, but I believe it was when he was talking to His disciples.  He wouldn’t have told us to “take heart” if we were to never lose heart.  This day I’m kind of losing heart and feeling the cloak of discouragement coming over me.  I don’t want to be here, so I must choose to grab His Almighty, ever-capable hand and hold on.  There’s something sweet on the other side of this, and I want it. 

I’m actually smiling now as I remember an icky mess I found myself in a couple Sundays ago.  I was checking the bottom of my chocolate nut pie to see if the crust was done, and it slipped out of my hands.  I watched in disbelief as my not-quite-done pie crashed on to the stove top and all over the floor.  We were to have guests in a couple hours, so I was out of time and out of ingredients to make another.  I sobbed as I cleaned the floor.  My daughter just clung to my leg trying to comfort me.  My husband ran up from the basement to find a sobbing wife and a gooey mess.  We all looked at the remains of the pie in the pan and on the stove, grabbed some forks and started eating!  It was the most delicious mess we’ve ever consumed.  And instead of sobs, laughter could be heard as we all enjoyed the hidden blessing.  And it’s still making me smile today.  Fun stuff.  I didn’t feel like blogging today, glad I did.  Thank you, Jesus! 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 686 other followers